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K.I.S.S. No
smooching, just sleuthing for the world's smallest and
most paranoid nation. |
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FAQs
about the World's
Smallest Nation
K.I.S.S. (Kronish
International Secret
Service)
As
a nation of one, I spend my days entertaining tourists
and manufacturing low-priced consumer goods for foreigners. I barely
have time to promote
my geo-strategic concerns (invading China, destabilizing Turkey so I
get into the E.U. first, etc.). Plus, it's hard for me to watch
my own back.
That's why I need you. I am looking for devoted spies, amoral double
agents, avid readers of newspapers, list lurkers, yogis, IMF
and World Bank employees,
soldiers of conscious, ruthless explorers of their own psyches and busybodies
to be my eyes and ears in the corridors of power.
Do you enjoy taking on different identities? Using secret codes? Pumping
people for information? Reading newspapers on the Internet when you really
should be working? Changing the world by changing your mind? Perhaps
you've always wanted to be an international informer or a just a sometime
snitch. Well, if you answered yes to any of the above and know
of any matters pertaining to the national security of Mykronesia, you've
come
to the right place.
That's right. You could be a spy. Experience all the excitement of international
espionage while surfing the internet. Most K.I.S.S. agents comb the international
news, others might have infiltrated the Chinese government. There are
agents who meditate for world peace and some who have gone in so deep
that they
believe their own cover story--until someone asks them to play a game
of solitaire.
Click here to
fill out an application to join K.I.S.S. (Kronish International Secret
Service).
Processing time takes about one week. All agents will receive via email
a secret code-book and a false moustache, along with a special email
address for reporting top secret information.
But remember, I am a poor nation with extremely limited technical and
monetary resources. I have no miniature cameras hidden in fountain
pens to give away. By all means, wear an evening gown or a tuxedo, just
don't expect
me to pay for the dry cleaning.
K.I.S.S. agents are paid in my local currency (kronicles). Salary
commensurate with experience. Mykronesia is an Equal Opportunity
Employer.
If you would like to hear public secrets, click here for a special letter
from the
Minister of Propaganda,
Catherine Penfold-Waxman.